


Time-Bomb

by saddullmoon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Helplessness, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Obsessed with control, Starving, Ticking, somewhat auditory hallucination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:31:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saddullmoon/pseuds/saddullmoon
Summary: A ticking time-bomb.Ticking without stopping.Out of control.Completely.Ready to explode and destroy everything.





	Time-Bomb

**Author's Note:**

> I'm somewhat really proud of this and I hope you like it too.  
> If you find any mistake let me know and I'll fix it.  
> Have fun!

A ticking time-bomb. A plastic bomb.

A fragmentation bomb. A grenade.

Ticking without stopping.

Ready to explode and destroy everything, to tear everything down to the ground. And being him out of control, he couldn't pledge nobody would get hurt in the outburst.

Out of control. _Completely._

He couldn't care less for the collision of his slivers with the world around, nobody ever really cared for him in the first place.

That is why it was pretty easy to push everyone away completely. Even though people didn't deserve his kindness anymore, he wanted to restrict the number of victims involved when every piece of him would burn to the ground.

Except for one, however.

Mattsun was so stubborn, he refused to let him go. Makki tried everything to get to save him from the imminent explosion. But he never gave in and his will never wavered.

 

_Ten._

 

He made the alarm stop by throwing it across the room, where it shattered on the floor.

His head was throbbing really hard. It was normal though, having slept only half an hour last night.

He couldn't drag himself out of the bed. So he just sighed and closed his eyes again.

He hated how he could feel his control over his body slip away from his fingers. Couldn't get up, couldn't eat, couldn't afford doing any thing. The weight of his exhaustion wasn't bearable any more.

He had tried to take control of his life again and for a while he was even able to push himself to his limits. But then the ticking in his head remembered him that he was running out of time.

 

_Nine. Eight._

 

But now his head just couldn't stop spinning, neither could his heart stop pounding, or his mouth stop biting his nails down to the numb, neither could he slow his frantic breath down.

He just couldn't control his body when his mind was racing, his heart threatening to jump out of his ribcage, as panic started to rise in his chest, his stomach tightened and he felt like throwing up.

What triggered him was that he was out of control. Just like the time-bomb he always thought of himself as.

So he leapt to his feet, opened the door and rushed to the bathroom.

 

_Seven. Six._

 

At that time his mom was already at work so he was alone in the house, having never known his father and being an only child.

Leaning over the toilet, only bile came out of his empty stomach. When was the last time he ate?

His mom worked all day, leaving the house at 7 am and coming back around 10 pm, so she never got the chance to take care of his son. And of course Makki couldn't let those succulent occasions to openly destroy himself go by. Nobody was watching anyways.

He flushed the toilet and went back to his room. He noticed the broken alarm on the floor but didn't care.

"Another side effect of the explosion" he told himself.

He didn't go to school of course, he couldn't risk losing control over his body in front of everyone. And the whole day was spent staring blankly at the wall, curled up on his bed. The whole week went by that way too.

 

_Five. Four._

 

His phone buzzed the first days, Makki imagining it was Mattsun trying to get in touch with him but he really couldn't make himself take the phone from his desk so he just let it buzz until the battery ran out. And for the whole week, Makki allowed himself to lose control, repeating in his head, to reassure himself, that it was okay, that he could be in control again whenever he wanted.

But being out of touch is never easy when your mind is literally eating you alive. Not that Makki wasn't used to it anyway. He wanted to reach out to Mattsun but the ticking suddenly got worse and everything in himself screamed that the time was almost up and he was wasting his last minutes being weak.

And so he did the only thing he knew would keep him grounded. He took the blade and dragged it across his thighs and his arms and his stomach.

 

_Three._

 

But the voices in his mind got too loud and he couldn't tune them down like he always did when they got overwhelming, so he just wished someone could make them stop. And almost as he had sensed his friend's wish, Mattsun knocked on the front door that day.

Makki didn't want to let him in however. He wanted to be alone and to push everyone away because he was going to explode very soon and he didn't want anyone, above all the person he cared the most for, to get hurt in the impact.

But if Makki was stubborn, Mattsun was even more obstinate.

In fact he didn't give up until Makki let him in, only to find him looking lightheaded and giddy. Then he noticed his body and his mouth went dry.

 

_Two._

 

And luckily he was there because who would have caught Makki as he fell because he had starved himself? And who would have saved his life as his body bled to death?

"Damn Makki, don't you dare die on me. Do you hear me? If you die I swear to God I'm going to follow you only to kill you myself!" Mattsun screamed, his voice high pitched as he called for an ambulance and tried to keep his friend awake.

-

When Makki woke up, he felt even more confused than when he had let Mattsun in his house.

The sound of a door opening and closing caught his attention and he saw Mattsun get inside the room with coffee in his hands. When he noticed he was awake, he called the nurses to have them checking up on him.

When they left, Mattsun had to collect all his patience not to punch Makki in the face.

"What were you trying to do, you ass?"

Makki didn't answer at first, still feeling dizzy. But then he stammered out something that his friend didn't quite understand.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Makki only sighed.

"Can you please tell me what is going on?" Mattsun asked a little more sweetly.

"I was just trying to shut the world out to minimize the number of victims the explosion will cause."

"What explosion?"

Makki snorted and changed the subject.

"Why are you here? I thought I had told you to stay away from me."

Mattsun flinched at how hard those words sounded and looked at Makki with narrow eyes. The latter just looked anywhere else but to the guy in front of him.

"Well then, I'm sorry for trying to save your goddamned life." he hissed and this time, Makki winced.

"You know you can't anyway."

"What you are talking about Makki, I will st-"

 

**_One._ ******

********

 

********

"Dammit, I'm a time-bomb Mattsun! And one day I'm going to explode and tear down everything around me! And I don't want anybody, especially you, to get hurt!" Makki frantically said, leaving Mattsun speechless. And when he started crying, Mattsun felt the ground under his feet shake.

********

Makki, the usually half-hearted boy, was bawling his eyes out.

********

Mattsun felt a grip around his heart, tightening with every sob his friend let out. After few seconds, when he put himself together, he slowly got near the crying boy and hugged him tightly.

********

"You idiot. I'm already in too deep with you to let you push me away. And furthermore, if you say you're going to explode, then I wouldn't know how to continue with my life without you. So I'd rather die with you."

********

And then, there with Mattsun's arms gripped firmly around his shaking body, Makki swore the ticking in his head stopped and he thought that maybe, just maybe, his time wasn't up yet, that the time-bomb in him could wait a little bit more to explode and tear everything to the ground forever.

********


End file.
